Tuesday of the Second day in the octave of Christmas (December 26, 2017): Feast of Saint Stephen, first martyr

As we reflect on the sacrifice that St. Stephen willingly made in today’s first reading, consider the ways in which you feel martyred. What stones are being thrown at you?

Many Saints felt joy while being martyred. How can that happen? Well, we see that Stephen had a vision of Jesus during his painful ordeal. It was a supernatural moment with unworldly joy. When we’re attacked because of our faith, we too can experience the supernatural.

Martyrdom is any sacrifice we make for the sake of bringing Christ more fully into the world. Here are 7 steps for seeing the glory of God in your sacrifices:

Step 1: Identify what’s making you feel frustrated. It’s probably from wishing that others would change and it’s not happening fast enough. Why do we want others to improve? Frankly, so that our own lives will improve, too. Yes, we really do want their lives to change for their benefit, but it’s important to recognize and accept that our frustrations come from not getting what we want for ourselves. There’s nothing wrong with this unless we limit our love for them according to how poorly they treat us.

Step 2: Acknowledge your own sin. It’s sinful to believe that our pain will only go away when those who hurt us finally treat us the way they should and they’re truly sorry. This belief takes our eyes off Jesus (preventing us from seeing the glory of God) and leaves no room for Jesus to heal us through his own methods. Plus it makes us vulnerable to the temptation of acting unlovingly: Love is patient and forgiving and does not demand its own way.

Step 3: Repent and change. Choose to accept others the way they are even though you don’t like everything they do. What if they never improve? What if their lack of improvement or slow growth causes more problems? We can still see the glory of God, which depends on Jesus, not on what others do. However, it’s very difficult to resist the temptation to despair. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Like St. Stephen, you can become fully alive in Christ’s Spirit, which is necessary for seeing the glory of God.

Step 4: Identify what’s at the root of your desire for the other person to change. Usually, we’re afraid of getting hurt again. But the Holy Spirit gives us the courage to love others despite their stones.

Step 5: Discover the true source of God’s glory. It’s doesn’t depend on others and how well they treat us. Our peace of mind and perseverance depend on our relationship with God.

Step 6: Kill off all illusions about the necessity of other people changing. I repeat, your peace of mind does not depend on other people! It doesn’t even depend on circumstances. It only comes from realizing that the loving and healing presence of Jesus is already with us.

Step 7: Follow Jesus all the way to the cross, which is the only path to resurrection and the glory of God. People who try to crucify you are nailing you to their errant belief system and their sinfulness. Jesus showed by example that going to the cross for them is redemptive. The other people might not change, but you will. You will become more like Jesus!

Beloved Father, thank You for the opportunities You give me to be Your witness among my brothers and sisters. Strengthen me that I may always do Your will. Amen.